aisha speaks

!!!!!!!!!!!!

angels-and-angles:

Wow, accidentally deleted my original post. Reblogging so I can keep it in my archives.

——

As defined by urban dictionary, the friendzone is…

“When you are expected to support a girl you really like while she searches for a smarter, richer, and more handsome boyfriend. There is little you can do without feeling like a dick. All in all, one of the meanest things a girl can do, whether they mean it or not.”

and ”The perennial location of nice guys everywhere.”

Although this hypothetical situation could work both ways, friendzone is almost always applied to a man who is rejected by a woman. Therefore, there is something inherently unequal, something inherently sexist about the term “friendzone”. But what and why?

From my experience, this is what friend zone is. A “nice guy” pursues a woman, but isn’t forward with his intentions from the get-go like, say, a “jerk”. The woman is pleased to see a man who is interested in her not as a sexual object but as a human being and wishes for things to stay that way. The man is not satisfied with seeing the woman as a human being because being “expected to support a girl” is a bad deal if she’s not putting out.

Before I delve into the sociological aspects of this, I just want to point out that ”friendzone” is no more pleasant for a woman than it is a man. First, that is to say unrequited love works both ways, but the person who doesn’t return affections is considered mean only when she’s a woman. And second, what option does the woman have in a traditional “friendzone” situation? Just stop talking to a close friend to avoid “leading him on”? In high school, I found out my best friend of 2 years liked me. Having to tell him I didn’t feel the same way and being immediately ex-communicated via Facebook status (“Thanks for wasting my time”) was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. Were our two years of friendship invalid because I didn’t want anything more? Was all our time together really wasted because there was no hypothetical pay off?

Guys who do this and claim to be “nice guys” are the worst misogynists because of their sense of entitlement toward a woman. They make investments in property and expect their dividends. They are fake friends. They are selfish. And they will jump at the chance to vilify you and victimize themselves when their attempts at manipulation don’t work. Clearly, “friendzone” is the remnant of a phenomenon that has plagued women since the beginning of time: women are not independent creatures. Our love lives exist only in the context of a man’s desire. When we make independent decisions, we are subject to a host of derogatory terms. “Slut” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “yes”. “Friendzone” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “no”

chescaleigh:

Shit White Girls Say…to Black Girls (via Chescaleigh)

Born and raised in the suburbs, this video is basically my life story in 2 minutes. Throw me a reblog if you can relate.

thedailyfeed:

A cash-strapped Minnesota town is replacing its police force with private security, raising legal and constitutional concerns galore. 

Yesterday, wearing uniforms and carrying sidearms, security guards began doing 24-hour patrols every day of the week on the shady streets of Foley, a community of 2,600 surrounded by farmland, northeast of St. Cloud.

 The cost-saving move has triggered worry among some that town leaders may have gone too far, taking some life-or-death responsibilities out of the hands of those with the legal authority to enforce the law.

 “It’s a social experiment and it’s polarizing,” said Steve Olson, a Foley Town Council member who called the deal “the best we could do with the resources we’ve got.”

The person featured here on “orthorexia” sounds like… seriously unwell. I mean, a diet cauliflower & broccoli only is unhealthy. http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1963297,00.html

unapologetically-black:

In its never-ending attempt to fabricate “mental disorders” out of every human activity, the psychiatric industry is now pushing the most ridiculous disease they’ve invented yet: Healthy eating disorder.

This is no joke: If you focus on eating healthy foods, you’re “mentally diseased” and probably need some sort of chemical treatment involving powerful psychotropic drugs. The Guardian newspaper reports, “Fixation with healthy eating can be sign of serious psychological disorder” and goes on to claim this “disease” is called orthorexia nervosa — which is basically just Latin for “nervous about correct eating.”

But they can’t just called it “nervous healthy eating disorder” because that doesn’t sound like they know what they’re talking about. So they translate it into Latin where it sounds smart (even though it isn’t). That’s where most disease names come from: Doctors just describe the symptoms they see with a name like osteoporosis (which means “bones with holes in them”).

Getting back to this fabricated “orthorexia” disease, the Guardian goes on to report, “Orthorexics commonly have rigid rules around eating. Refusing to touch sugar, salt, caffeine, alcohol, wheat, gluten, yeast, soya, corn and dairy foods is just the start of their diet restrictions. Any foods that have come into contact with pesticides, herbicides or contain artificial additives are also out.”

Wait a second. So attempting to avoid chemicals, dairy, soy and sugar now makes you a mental health patient? Yep. According to these experts. If you actually take special care to avoid pesticides, herbicides and genetically modified ingredients like soy and sugar, there’s something wrong with you.

But did you notice that eating junk food is assumed to be “normal?” If you eat  processed junk foods laced with synthetic chemicals, that’s okay with them. The mental patients are the ones who choose organic, natural foods, apparently.

— calloutqueen (via jalylah)

reborn-redeemed:

John 15:16

citymaus:

Al-Sharif, 40, is one of more than 50 Iraqi refugees who have been moved to East Oakland by the International Rescue Committee. The nonprofit’s officials say they won’t settle refugees in unsafe neighborhoods, but Al-Sharif and dozens of other Iraqis blame the organization for exposing them to an unfamiliar type of violence - one perpetrated by gangs rather than political militants.

sfgate, 28.12.11.

I’ve heard good things about the IRC (International Rescue Committee).. but I guess non-profits + limited funds = below target outcome

and East Oakland needs a lot of work done to reduce crime..

It’s nearly impossible to be accepted as an Iraqi refugee to the United States, which means the ones who do make it almost certainly suffered horrendous trauma in their home country.

“They’ve survived, and they’ve come to the U.S. to start a new life, and if you settle them in an environment like that, you bring back all these things,” Abdulkhaleq said.

think-progress:

1. The CIA is monitoring up to 5 million tweets per day.

2. Income inequality in America is worse than in Ancient Rome.

3. Twenty-three straight polls find Americans overwhelmingly want to raise taxes to pay down debt.

4. 68% of millionaires support raising taxes on millionaires.

boston:

Harvard economist to be nominated to Fed

- President Obama will nominate Harvard economist Jeremy Stein and another former Treasury official, Jerome H. “Jay” Powell, to the Federal Reserve Board.

kale wrap yumminess #recipe

chaoticlibra:

Lime-Spiked Black Bean and Quinoa Kale Wrap

1/3 cup dry quinoa, rinsed and drained
2/3 cup water
1/4 tsp sea salt

15 oz can black beans (1 3/4 cups cooked beans), drained and rinsed
1 1/2 tbsp fresh lime juice
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp sea salt
3 large cloves garlic, minced

1 cup grated carrots (and/or sliced cabbage)
3 green onions, finely chopped
1 tbsp fresh lime juice
1 1/2 avocados, peeled and chopped

4-8 large kale leaves, stem removed

1. Bring water to a boil over high heat. Once boiling, add quinoa. Reduce the heat to low, cover and simmer until all of the water is absorbed, about 15-20 minutes. Keep covered for an additional 5 minutes to steam. Once done, stir in the 1/4 tsp sea salt and set aside.

2. Combine black beans, lime juice, cumin, onion powder, salt and garlic in a blender or food processor. Blend well until very smooth. Transfer to a small pan and heat over low until warm, stirring occasionally.

3. In a small bowl, toss the carrots and green onions with lime juice. Set aside.

5. To assemble the wrap, place a kale leaf on a flat surface and spread with some of the black bean mixture. Next, add quinoa and then the veggies. Garnish with avocado chunks. Roll and eat!

If you’re not going to eat everything right away, store the ingredients in separate containers.

Serves 2-4.

source here

graham-bailey:

escapedgoat:

This is why she is my favorite Golden Girl.

Bea Arthur is badass. Face doesn’t lie.

limchoylee:

The Siwe Project: Choices
The Siwe Project is a global non-profit dedicated to promoting mental health awareness throughout the global black community. The goal of the organization is to widen the public dialogue regarding the lived experiences of people of African Descent with mental illness. By providing opportunities for dialogue and the uplifting of new narratives and discourse, The Siwe Project aims to encourage more people to seek treatment without shame.

Follow us on Twitter: @theSiweProject Like us on Facebook: Facebook.com/TheSiweProject